Monday, April 27, 2015

The Great Glen and the Loch Ness Monster

The Great Glen in the Scottish highlands is a rift valley 60 miles long and contains three famous lochs; Lochy, Oich and Ness. Loch Ness is around twenty two and a half miles long and between one and one and a half miles wide. It is deeper than the North Sea at 754 feet with a flat bottom. It holds 263 thousand million cubic feet of water or 16 million 430 thousand million gallons of water with a surface area of 14000 acres and could hold the population of the world 10 times over. It is fed by 7 major rivers the Oich, Tarff, Enrich, Coiltie, Moriston, Foyers and Farigaig plus numerous burns, with only one outlet the River Ness which flows 7 miles through Inverness into the Moray Firth 52 feet below the loch surface. Loch Ness never freezes because a thermocline lies around 100 feet below the surface. The top water temperature alters depending on the weather conditions but below the thermocline the temperature never varies from 44 degrees Fahrenheit. The mysterious steaming across the loch is due to heavier cold water falling below the thermocline and being replaced by the warmer water from below.

Nessie is a mystical creature that reputedly inhabits the largest freshwater lake in northern Scotland, Loch Ness . The most common speculation is the creature represents a line of long-surviving plesiosaurs. Although its existence has never been proven scientifically, eye witness accounts describe the cryptid as a large pre-historic sea creature. Nessie remains the most famous example of cryptozoology first reported on 2nd May, 1933 by a water bailiff called Alex Campbell. Later the same year a tourist and his wife reported a dragon like animal crossing the main road as it made its way to the loch. They described a four feet tall animal with a 25 feet long body and“undulating” 10- or 12-foot neck. The couple also said they saw an animal in the beast’s mouth possibly a small lamb. Soon other claims of sightings followed.

Reports of a monster in the remote Scottish Highlands were enough to attract the attention of the general public. British newspapers sent reporters to Scotland in search of additional testimony and proof the monster’s being. Marmaduke Wetherell , celebrity game hunter was engaged and discovered enormous tracks he thought belonged to a creature at least 20 feet long.

Plaster casts were taken and sent to the Natural History Museum in London for verification. These were found to be a hoax.

The first purported photograph of the monster was published in the Daily Express on the 6th December 1933. Robert Kenneth Wilson was a London gynaecologist refused to have his name associated with the photograph and the paper dubbed the it the the Surgeon's Photograph .He reported taking four photos but only two came out clear. The first one with the small head and back became the iconic image and for many years was regarded as the best evidence of the monster’s existence.

It took another 60 years to reveal the true origins of the Surgeon’s Photograph. Ninety year old Christian Spurling, (Marmaduke Wetherell step son) admitted he had colluded with Wetherell and Wilson to produce a hoax photograph.

In 1933 Bertram Mills, circus empresario offered a £20,000 reward to anyone who could capture the monster for his circus. It remains unclear whether Mills could afford the reward but it did start a landslide of interest. Reports of a monster in the Loch meant there was prize on Nessie’s head and this attracted the attention of armed hunting parties to the remote location. Local concerns were such Inverness-shire Chief Constable William Fraser wrote a letter to the newspapers in 1938, stating as it was beyond doubt the monster existed he believed his power to protect the monster from the hunters was "very doubtful".

Local man, Hugh Gray took a picture in 1933 which depicts a creature with a long grayish neck that tapers into a thin head rising out of the water, followed by two humps. Despite the photograph being published the quality was generally poor and eventually dismissed by most. Gray was a well known practical joker which only added to skeptics’ dismissal of the evidence. More recently the photograph has been analysed in detail and may indeed be genuine.

Still gripped in monster fervor R. T. Gould published his book, The Loch Ness Monster and others in 1934. Gould’s work included collected records of additional reports pre-dating 1933. The earliest recording was AD 565.

There is a tale about St Columba who saved his companion Luigne moccu Min when he was chased in Loch Ness by a beast. It is recorded in Adomnán’s Life of St. Columba, the Saint made the sign of the Cross and commanded: "Go no further. Do not touch the man. Go back at once." The beast immediately halted as if it had been "pulled back with ropes" and fled in terror.

Sightings of the Loch Ness Monster pre-1933 were rare, but did exist. Doctor D. Mackenzie of Balnain wrote to Robert Gould in 1934 to say as a young man he had witnessed an object that looked much like a log or upturned boat wriggling and churning up the water. The object moved slowly at first, then disappeared off at a faster speed (circa 1871). Sightings of the monster increased following the building of a road along the loch in early 1933. This brought both workmen and tourists to the formerly isolated area. In the same year Arthur Grant was on his motorbike and claimed to have nearly hit the creature while approaching Abriachan on the north-eastern shore of Loch Ness. It was a moonlight night and Grant was sure he saw a small head attached to a long neck.

More sightings, photographs and filmed encounters followed. A South African tourist G. E. Taylor in 1938 took a three minute 16 mm colour film. The film was never shown publically but a still was published in The Elusive Monster (1961) by Maurice Burton. Some experts thought the photograph was genuine but because it was never open to more detailed scrutiny like many reports it was dismissed as inconclusive. In 1951, Lachlan Stuart, a local Forestry Commission woodsman took a picture of what appears to show three humps moving in the waters of the Loch. Thirty years later it was revealed the humps were thinly disguised bales of hay covered in tarpaulin in another elaborate hoax. The Loch Ness Phenomena Investigation Bureau was formed in 1961and sporadic land sightings continued until 1963.

Many sonar attempts had been made but most were either inconclusive or negative. In December 1954, the fishing boat Rival III made sonar contact with a large object at a depth of 146 metres (479 ft). It was detected travelling for 800 m (2,600 ft) before contact was lost then found again. In 1961 two submarines with sonar experts on board was used but were unable to locate Nessie. They did however find a vast underwater cavern at 950 feet deep. Many speculate the elusive Nessie might use this as a hiding place. In 1975 an American-based expedition used underwater photography and special sonar to examine the Loch Ness. The underwater camera was able to take images of a moving object that had flippers. Based on these photos some scientists concluded that the 20-foot long creature was possibly an ancient reptile that became extinct with the dinosaurs some 65 million years ago.

One of the most interesting videos of the Nessie was taken in 2007 by Gordon Holmes, a 55-year-old lab technician. Considered to be one of the best filmed evidence to date the absence of other objects in the video does make comparisons impossible. Other evidence includes a sonar image taken in 2011 of an unidentified object considered to be 1.5 m (4 ft 11 in) long which apparently was following the boat of a local fisherman for two minutes at a depth of 23 m (75 ft).

George Edwards, a cruise boat operator, claimed a photograph he had taken in 2011 displaying a hump out of the water was genuine. On first inspection the photograph appeared genuine but closer scrutiny confirmed the so called monster was a fibreglass hump previously used in a National Geographic documentary that Edwards had participated in. Later he freely admitted to the hoax defending his actions as ‘ramping up interest in the Loch Ness monster and attracting people to the area.’

In 2014 after “Official Registrar of Loch Ness Monster Sightings reported no sightings of the creature had been recorded in 18 months. This was the first time since 1925 so much time had passed without a confirmed sighting claims, many feared the Loch Ness Monster was dead. Then Andrew Dixon who was browsing an Apple map of the Loch saw what appeared to be the monster close to the surface of the loch. Possible explanations for the image were it could be the wake of a boat, a seal causing ripples or a floating log. Some even believe the image was Photoshopped using an image of a whale shark. Closer inspection did also reveal the image bore a close resemblance to a Loch Ness-based cruise ship called the Jacobite Queen.

Most scientists consider it impossible for a dinosaur like creature to survive for millions of years unseen. Most sightings are simply explained away by floating logs or unusual waves. Loch Ness is fed from the Moray Firth in the North Sea via the River Ness. The sea is frequented by porpoises, dolphins and whales and seals and dolphins have been filmed in the loch many times. In the last three decades independent scientists have used sonar and satellite imagery to scan every inch of the loch and found 'no trace of any large animal living there'. The Loch Ness monster however is estimated it to be worth in the region of £50 million per annum and more than 500,000 tourists travel to the area every year in the hope of sighting the beast. Reason enough them to keep the secret of Loch Ness secret.

More information

Loch Ness Hunter Haggis Tours
Loch Ness Investigation
Official Registrar of Loch Ness Monster Sightings

Is the British Government Hiding The Loch Ness Monster?

Is the Loch Ness Monster Dead?

Monday, April 20, 2015

Petrosomatoglyphs of Scotland

A petrosomatoglyph is an indentation of parts of a human or animal body incised in rock. Feet are the most commonly found human petrosomatoglyph but knees, elbows, hands, head, and fingers are also in evidence. Early hominid footprints appear on rock beds found around the world. Footprints of Australopithecus boisei for example were discovered in Tanzania. These are thought to be 3.5 million years old. In Tchogha Zanbil, Iran at the ruins of the holy city of the Kingdom of Elam there is a stepped pyramid temple which dates back 3000 years. At the base of the steps is a child’s footprint. Many petrosomatoglyphs are natural whilst others are man-made. Although their original function is long forgotten many petrosomtoglyphs became associated with Saints, legendary figures, and fairies.

In antiquity many people carved footprints into stone including the ancient Celts. These became important symbols, used in religious and secular ceremonies, such as the crowning of kings. Sometimes petrosomatoglyphs were used by the superstitious. The Romans carved pairs of footprints in rock with the inscription ‘pro itu et reditu’, (for the journey and return). Before starting an important journey they stood in the carved footprints. Then on safe return they repeated the action as mark of thanksgiving. The same ritual was known in 6th c Wales when King Maelgwn of Gwynedd placed his feet in carved footprints to ensure his safe return from a pilgrimage to Rome.

In northern Europe, rock footprints were closely associated with Kingship or Chieftainship. Standing on a special stone was a link between the king and the land. Footprints may also have to do with the cult of the ancestors, whose spirits dwelt in the stone. The belief was the newly invested leader would received the luck (or mana) of his predecessors through contact with it. Petrosomatoglyphs used in the ordination of kings was considered a sacred place or Locus terribilis (awesome place), where only the rightful king was able to use them for the purpose that they were intended. Scottish Kings and Irish Chieftains were sworn to oath standing on footprints carved into the stone. Dunadd Hillfort is regarded as the crowning place for the original Kings of Scotland. It was the ancient capital of the Gaelic kingdom of Dál Riata and lay on the west coast of Scotland. Built around 500AD after Fergus MacErc led a Scottish invasion from Ireland. The inhabitants of Dál Riata are often referred to as Scots, i.e., Latin scotti, a name for the inhabitants of Ireland and refer to all Gaelic-speakers. The kingdom's independent existence ended in the Viking Age (8th to 11th centuries), as it merged with the lands of the Picts to form the Kingdom of Alba. On rocks on the edge of Crinan Moss in Argyll, near the village of Lochgilphead there is a carved human footprint used during the crowning ceremony of the Kings of Scotland. This footprint is thought to be that of Oisin or Fergus Mor Mac Erca, the first King of Dalriada, who died in AD 501. The best preserved footprint (there are two) is 27 cm long, approximately 11 cm wide, 9 cm across at the heel and 2.5 cm deep. It is large enough to accommodate a shoe or boot. The second footprint of a right foot is, incomplete and measures 24 cm long and 10 cm in width.

The spot where St. Columba (521 – 597 AD) is reputed to have first set foot in Dalriada, Scotland, is marked by two footprints carved in a crag near the chapel of Keil and St. Columba's Well, between Dunaverty Bay and Carskey in Kintyre. These are called Columba's Footprints. It appears one footprint may date to the period but the second print was carved by a local stone mason in the nineteenth century. Unfortunately he carved the wrong date for Columba's landing of 564. Other St. Columba's footprints are found at Southend in Argyll. In one of the caves on the Isle of Arran is prints of two right feet, said to be of Saint Columba. Forging links with St Columba in the 1800s was more to do with attracting tourists.

On Islay, the southernmost island of the Inner Hebrides, was the Stone of Inauguration which lay beside Loch Finlaggan. The stone measured seven feet square and had a footprint cut into it (size 8). It was the sacred stone of the island Lordship and is thought to have been since the time of Somerled (King of Argyll and the Isles in 1164 AD). When a chief of the Clan Donald was installed as the King of the Isles, he required to stand barefoot on the imprint whilst he swore an oath. In 1615, by the order of the Earl of Argyll the block was destroyed and the fragments dispersed. After considerable detection the footprint segment was eventually located.

Other petrosomatoglyphs in Scotland include a 2-foot-long (0.61 m) footprint on a cave side in Arran.

There is also pair of footprints carved in a stone slab in a causeway at the Broch (Tower) of Clickhimin (or Clickemin), Lerwick, in Shetland. This site was occupied from about 1000 BC to AD 500.

On neighboring Orkney, at St. Mary's Church in Burwick, South Ronaldsay, the Ladykirk Stone has two clear footprints cut into it, said to be the footprints of Saint Magnus (1075–1117). One common belief was the footprints held healing powers and were used in medicines.

At Spittal on the western end of a long ridge of natural rock outcrop near Drymen, is a footprint which may be due to natural weathering. At Craigmaddie Muir, Baldernock, East Dunbartonshire is the Auld Wives Lifts. This is a complicated assemblage of carvings on a rock platform. On the rock are serpent-like forms, crosses, cups and an impression of the right foot of an adult.

In Ayr, on the southern bank of the River Ayr is 'Wallace's Heel', a natural sandstone slab, Sir William Wallace is said to have left the imprint behind whilst rushing to escape English soldiers who were pursuing him. At Dunino Den, near St Andrews in Fife, is a footprint and a basin carved in the surface of a sandstone outcrop. A Celtic cross has been carved nearby, possibly as an attempt to make the site Christian. On a boulder at Carnasserie, two miles (3 km) from Kilmartin in Argyll, are carved a pair of feet and two other examples can also be found in Angus.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

William Topaz McGonagall (1825 -1902)

William Topaz McGonagall was probably born in Ireland but always maintained he was an Edinburgher, born circa 1825. The son of Irish handloom weavers McGonagall grew up in Dundee and served his apprenticeship as a handloom weaver. He also acted and much later in life took up writing poetry. The main thrust of his work was narrative ballads and verse written about great events and tragedies. McGonagall’s poems were without lyrical or metaphorical gestures and lacked imagery and lapses in rhythm and meter. Despite the inappropriate rhythms, weak vocabulary, and ill-advised imagery all combined well to make his work amongst the most unintentionally amusing dramatic poetry in the English language. The Dundee’ poet’s style was unique, memorable and instantly recognizable. He wrote about 200 poems and gleefully distributed them as handbills always willing to perform his works to dramatic effect at the mere invitation.

His notoriety grew and recitations by the poet became very popular. "The Tay Bridge Disaster" is widely regarded as his best known and one of the worst poems in English literature.

McGonagall required a patron and wrote to Queen Victoria.

The Queen politely dismissed his request and refused to extend him, her patronage. Undeterred McGonagall took this as Royal acceptance of his works and thought her Royal Highness would change her mind with a live performance. He walked from Dundee to Balmoral in 1878, over mountainous terrain and through a violent thunderstorm. He was refused an audience and had to return home. He continued unabated writing more poetry.

McGonagall constantly struggled with finances and earned money by selling his poems in the streets, or reciting them in halls, theatres and public houses. In times of need his friends supported him with donations. McGonagall campaigned for the Temperance Movement and frequently appeared in city pubs and bars to give edifying poems and speeches. Despite meeting with the ire of the publicans, he was popular with the drinkers who generally regarded his poems so bad as to be the work of genius. Ironically the poet thought alcohol was to blame for his audiences' failure to appreciate his work.

McGonagall was prey to many cruel hoaxes including a fake invitation to meet the actor Sir Henry Irvine in London. He was able to sail to London thanks mainly to the benevolence of a friend but when he arrived at the stage door, he was turned away. The poet described his experience in "Descriptive Jottings of London", with its immortal opening verse:

As I stood upon London Bridge and viewed the mighty throng
Of thousands of people in cabs and busses rapidly whirling along,
All furiously driving to and fro,
Up one street and down another as quick as they could go...

In 1887 he sailed to New York but returned unsuccessful. McGonagall captured his visit in Jottings of New York

Oh mighty City of New York! you are wonderful to behold,
Your buildings are magnificent, the truth be it told,
They were the only things that seemed to arrest my eye,
Because many of them are thirteen storeys high.

McGonagall rejections went undeterred and he found himself lucrative work performing his poetry at a local circus. As he recited his poems the crowd was encouraged to pelt him with eggs, flour, herrings, potatoes and stale bread. The act proved very popular but when events became so raucous the city magistrates were forced to put a ban on them. Outraged at their action the poet put pen to paper and composed "Lines in Protest to the Dundee Magistrates".

His friends helped fund the publication of a collection of his work, Poetic Gems in 1890. Four years later 1894 McGonagall and his wife left his beloved Dundee and moved to Perth. It was there he received a letter from purported representatives of King Thibaw Min of Burma which informed him the King had knighted him as Topaz McGonagall, Grand Knight of the Holy Order of the White Elephant Burmah. Obvious to the hoax, henceforth McGonagall referred to himself as "Sir William Topaz McGonagall, Knight of the White Elephant, Burmah.” By 1895 the McGonagall’s were living in Edinburgh by which time the poet had become popular "cult figure." His only paid commission was an advertisement for Sunlight soap

"You can use it with great pleasure and ease/
without wasting any elbow grease."

Tragically as he aged and became more frail and sickly depending almost entirely on handouts from his friends to exist. William Topaz McGonagall died at 5 South College Street in Edinburgh in 1902 in poverty and was buried in a pauper’s grave in Greyfriars Kirkyard in Edinburgh. From c.1950 to 1995 a memorial bench stood on the path immediately to the north side of the church commemorating McGonagall and bearing the typically McGonagall-esque inscription

"Feeling tired and need a seat?
Sit down here, and rest your feet".

Unfortunately the bench fell into disrepair and was not replaced. In 2008 a folio of 35 McGonagall poems, the majority signed by the author, fetched £6,600 in the Lyon and Turnbull auction house, Edinburgh.

In 1999 a grave-slab was installed to his memory and is inscribed:

William McGonagall
Poet and Tragedian
"I am your gracious Majesty
ever faithful to Thee,
William McGonagall, the Poor Poet,
That lives in Dundee."

William McGonagall always assumed his talent matched William Shakespeare although he did acknowledge the other Scottish poet.

Robert Burns
Immortal Robert Burns of Ayr,
There's but few poets can with you compare;
Some of your poems and songs are very fine:
To "Mary in Heaven" is most sublime;
And then again in your "Cottar's Saturday Night",
Your genius there does shine most bright,
As pure as the dewdrops of the night.

McGonagall Nights, like Burns Nights, help keep the poets flame alive with regular recitations and supper. Unlike a Burns Night the course order is reversed and the meal begins with coffee and biscuits before dessert etc.. During the evening devotees declaim vintage McGonagall verses such as:

"Beautiful Moon, with thy silvery light
Thou seemest most charming to my sight /
As I gaze upon thee in the sky so high
A tear of joy does moisten mine eye.

To be properly appreciated, McGonagall's poetry should be read aloud in a working-class Scottish accent, so that Edinburgh rhymes with sorrow. As always the evening is completed with a dramatic rendition of "The Tay Bridge Disaster."

Further Reading
Spike Milligan, Jack Hobbs (1978) William McGonagall – the Truth at Last Penguin On-line information
McGonagall on line

Monday, April 13, 2015

Matt McGinn (1928 - 1977)

Matthew McGinn was born in Glasgow in 1928 and grew up in the Gallowgate in the Calton district of the city. Near the Gorbals this was a tough neighbourhood and Matt was one of nine children (5 sisters and 3 brothers). He went to the local Catholic School but at the start of the Second World War all inner city children were evacuated to the city’s outskirts for safety. In his brief stay at Newton Mearns Matt witnessed privileged living compared to his own humble home and that gave him a lifelong resentment of privilege. Keen to get back to the city and return to the nefarious activities during the blackouts Matt returned to the Gallogate and was soon embroiled in a life of juvenile crime. The young tear away, aged 12, was sent to St. Mary's Approved School for eighteen months after being caught stealing from a fruit shop. In the correction facility Matt experienced firsthand the tough regime which made him realise crime was not the life he wanted. The experience was not without humour however the stark existence was something he never forgot. After release he did a series of menial jobs until eventually he ended up in a factory where he organised a strike. Determined to make something of himself he attended evening classes and became an avid reader. Interested in the Trade Union Movement Matt abandoned Catholicism and joined the British Communist Party in 1949. An active party member he was also critical of its regime and resigned several times over the next few years. Matt was and continued to be a champion of social justice and equity and became the factory’s Shop Steward. His hard work paid off when he won a Trade Union scholarship (T&GWU) to attend Ruskin College, Oxford. There he studied for a Diploma in Economics and Political Science then completed his teacher training at Huddersfield’s Teachers’ Training College. In his spare time at Ruskin, Matt wrote poetry and songs and when won a song competition with The Foreman O'Rourke, he was given a recording contract and released his first folk album called, The Iron Muse in 1963.

Matt returned to Glasgow and took a job as a teacher in Rutherglen before becoming the organiser of the Gorbals Adventure Playground. During this time he became a firm favourite on the UK folk scene sometimes writing up to six songs in a day, many of which were poignant parodies. Matching his wicked sense of fun with the sometimes unjust situations which he observed befall his working comrades he was soon dubbed the Woody Guthrie of Scotland.

Touring the UK folk circuit of the early sixties he met Pete Seeger, Tom Paxton and Bob Dylan among others. His talent and general irreverence won him many admirers not to mention adoration form his loyal fans. At the time Matt was quite unique because he preferred to sing his own songs based on his personal experiences combined with Glasgow wit and to that effect, predated Billy Connolly who would later overshadow him with mass global audience.

Many of Matt’s songs like Red Yoyo and Wee Kirkcudbright Centipede became favourite children’s songs which are still recorded today.

Matt was a luminary and role model to many and throughout his short life he remained committed to socialism and passionately believed in the overthrow of capitalism.

A principled man he supported many union disputes as well as helping the needy. Sadly the singer /playwright and man of the people died in 1977, aged 49.

Worth a listen
The Foreman O'Rourke (1963)
Coorie Doon (Miner's Lullaby) (1966)
The First Man On the Moon (1966)
Gallowgate Calypso (1966)
Red Yoyo (1966)
The Wee Kirkcudbright Centipede
No Nay Never (1968)
On the Beach at Portobello (1971)
Skinny Malinky Long Legs (1971)
The Ibrox Disaster (1972)
My Wee Autie Sarah (1978)